Alarming swims

On Saturday last I was anxious to push my cold water acclimitising so off to Sandycove I went. The air temp was 7deg perhaps, with the water slightly “warmer” at 9.5deg or so. First lap I went wide, feeling strong. Second lap I felt good. I had myself talked into my first three lapper of the year in togs so off I went. There must be a cold spring at the first corner or something, but in my positive frame of mind I thought if there’s cold patches, there must be warm patches!
There were no warm patches.
Disorientation set in. The island wasn’t talking to me, but rather than see this as a good thing, I felt a little paranoid that I had offended it. Was I blissed out or was the cold getting to me? I paused at the back of the island and Carmel assured me she would stay beside me. What was my alternative but to swim on. I briefly wondered if my mind became untethered – would it stay that way or would I be able to reel it back in?
Out I got and stumbled to the car. I thought I was having a sugar dip and that I wasn’t cold. Riana kindly gave me a biscuit, but it was like blowdrying your mouth and then trying to eat a toasted cream cracker.

Roisin asked nicely if I had a hat.
Yes says I, but I am not cold.
Just put on the hat, says she, kindly refraining from calling me an idiot.

I suffer from irish hypothermia, where I feel embarrassed at making a show of myself and paranoid that “they’re all looking at me”. Post swim, most swimmers are bluish grey with red blotches. So while it might be hilarious to watch them struggle to with twisted underwear and buttons, it's not a pretty sight. So, no, they’re not looking at me. Except for one passer by who subsequently ran off screaming “My eyes! My eyes!”

Thursday’s swim was a triumph over duvetland and it’s warm snuggly goodness. Hauled myself to the Inniscarra Reservoir for a 10deg dip at 6.30am with Paraic and Riana. Uneventful and quite pretty to watch the raindrops hopping off a surface as calm as a pool. The eventful part of the morning was when the fire alarm went off during my shower. At work. In a public building. Down I dripped, mortified. Thankfully it was a false alarm and I was able to retrieve my dignity, but I will be avoiding eye contact for a while.